This Place is Beautiful!

I know that this will probably deal a fatal blow to the die-hard OSU footbal fans out there but if there is one thing I've noticed in my 30+ years living in Ohio, especially in the city, it is this: This place is a crappy place to spend the winter! (and many times autumn & spring for that matter)
I guess if lifeless, wet salt stained and brown with a touch of bone-chilling bitter cold and LOT'S of gray is your thing then it's OK, but if you are into things like color, sun, warmth and life outside the house, this place get's really old, not to mention if you are unfortunate enough to suffer from Migraine headaches, then you're likely to be awakened what seems like most mornings by that all to familiar pain inside your skull that seems determined to get out and attack the rest of the world.
I know what you're thinking, 'if it's so bad, why not leave?" That's a great idea! Why didn't I think of that like twenty years ago when I realized that I was never going to like this place for nearly half the year?! Honestly, I would leave tomorrow for more southern regions like the Carolina's (fried pork chops & braised greens!) or on further and border jump to Mexico (Tacos, Tamales, Chilies galore!) if only I could afford to take the great family & friends here in Columbus with my family & I. Yeah sure, I could skip out on my wife & kids like so many male gendered individuals before me (I don't like to call them "Men"), but as crazy as this might sound to our modern American culture, I still love my wife after fourteen years of marriage (and I've never slept on the couch), and I love my kids and really enjoy being a father, even when they irritate the piss out of me. I guess I could rally the wife & kids together with me and leave behind the rest of our family and friends and start all over somewhere else! Hmmm, nope! I don't think that'll work either. There's just something about that, seems overly selfish. We may be a disfunctional family (you know you are too), but we like each other, we enjoy the frequency we have with one another (most of the time).
I've got it! Myself, Wife, kids, family, friends- all of us- Mass Exodus! We'll skip town to Mexico (I think we can leave behind all our bills that way) and start up a new town of gringos! Perfect! I'll draw up the plans and send them on to you all shortly.
Until then-Eat your Corn! -g